Deer Season?

I would like to start by thanking all of you readers!  I had significantly higher reader numbers after my last post.  You did your part, now I’ll do mine and try not to disappoint. I hope it wasn’t to offensive (comment if it was offensive).  If it was offensive…I probably won’t do anything to change it.  I would just like to know.

So, I had to write an English paper last week.  I was having some difficulty getting started.  It was a position essay.  All I had to do was point out the problems with the mathlab, and then some suggest some solutions.  I feel I accomplished this…by comparing said mathlab to Darth Vader.  The mathlab isn’t necessarily the bad guy, which is why I didn’t compare it to the Emperor.  I am quite proud of this paper, not sure about my teacher, though.  I have to be honest.  I may have had some help…..from Robert Duvall! Boom! We tweet…not really.  I was inspired by the scene in Apocalypse Now with the helicopters where Mr. Duvall plays Ride of the Valkyrie.  I bought the song to boost moral, which it did!  I managed to finish the paper without staying up all hours of the night.  That was nice.

My Uncle came over this weekend.  I was drawing tattoos on everyone, a bit random transition there.  They probably aren’t going to read this, so I’ll just confirm the magnificence of my tattoo drawing abilities for them.  After drawing tattoos I decided what tattoo I would want if I got one.  I want to get a Zelda Triforce tramp stamp or an Apple tramp stamp in honor of Steve Jobs.  I had two serious ideas for tattoos, even my serious ideas aren’t very serious.  First: a black light tattoo of all my bones.  When ever I dance under a black-light it would look so awesome! Second: 3D tattoos!  Seriously, why hasn’t anyone done this.  It looks normal, until you put the glasses on!  Then it pops out at you!  I think this is seriously an awesome idea, as opposed to all my other ideas, which could be interpreted as stupid.  (If you have a 3D tattoo please send me a picture!)

So, it’s deer season or about to be.  I don’t keep up.  I don’t deer hunt because it is one of the most boring things a person can do.  (Turkey hunting; on the other hand, is very exciting) When you deer hunt, basically you’re sitting in a tree for three hours waiting for a deer to not come out.  However; I like hunting, because I also like eating.  I think the way deer are hunted is a bit unsportsmanlike, unless you’re doing it in Alaska.  I’ll show you why I think deer hunting anywhere other than Alaska or Canada is unsportsmanlike.  Deer hunting in Alaska/Canada: you shoot the deer, a bear hears the shot, you clean deer, the bear ambushes you, the bear kills you and finally the bear eats you and the deer.  Lion hunting: you could be killed and eaten.  Leopard hunting: you could be killed and eaten.  Bear hunting: the bear could kill you and eat you.  Look at what happened to the Grizzly man, and he was on their side.  Elk: the elk charges you, gores you with his antlers, the wound gets infected and you die of gangrene.  Moose: the Moose tramples you and you die embarrassingly flat.  Elephant: you shoot it as many times as you can, it doesn’t die because it is the biggest land mammal on the planet and it tramples you to death.

If you notice there is a common theme, which is death.  There is a risk of being brutally killed by any of these animals.  Now let’s compare that to deer hunting.  You bait the field, you wear cloths that camouflage you, you sit very high in a tree and use a high powered Rifle.  There are even scent covers that make you smell like deer pee.  Seriously?  The Pygmy tribe in Africa does a similar thing.  They cover themselves in elephant dung.  Then they climb in a tree and wait for the elephant?  No!  They walk underneath the elephant, stab it in the bladder with a spear covered in poison and run like crazy.  Sitting in a tree, waiting for a defenseless animal to come with in range of your gun is about as fair as the United States going to war with France.  It isn’t even a contest.  Now here is my dilemma…I love deer meat.  It is so good.  So, I’m just going to keep my mouth shut and keep eating.

I have a lot of friends and family who are deer hunters…did you enjoy it?! comment below

This post is quite long.  So, I’ll end it here.  If you’re a hunter please comment below, I would love to read your opinions.

P.s. Follow me on twitter: @evan164 or find me on Google+.  Google+ is my new favorite!