Bed Rest > Couch Rest

I recently got sick with a cold or something.  I’ve been coughing a lot, sneezing and incapable of breathing through my nose.  Since I am home I have decided to get some bed rest.  I’ve been thinking (I like to try new things).  Why is that specific adjective there?  Why is it bed rest?  Isn’t any rest good, regardless of the location?  Then I put some thought into it.  Bed rest is best, as opposed to couch rest.  Couch rest is the low class of resting, along with back seat of a car rest.  Bed rest is far superior to couch rest, and I’ll explain why. 

Couch rest is a Ford Fiesta.  Bed rest is the Acura NSX.  Couch rest is McDonald’s.  Bed rest is a fine cut steak.  Couch rest is Tom Cruise.  Bed Rest is Steve McQueen.  Couch rest is Michael Bay.  Bed rest is Orson Welles.  Couch rest is baseball.  Bed Rest is pretty much every other sport.  Couch rest is the hot, loud, narcissistic girl.  Bed rest is the quiet, sweet girl with glasses.  Couch rest is Taylor Swift.  Bed rest is Lady Gaga.  Couch rest is heathy pizza you get at Whole Foods.  Bed rest is the amazing, traditional, greasy pizza.  Couch rest is Home Depot.  Bed Rest is the Mom and Pop hardware store.  Couch rest is Canadian Bacon.  Bed rest is normal bacon.  Couch rest is the Canadian army.  Bed Rest is the  American army.  Couch rest is Ted Kennedy.  Bed rest is John.   Couch Rest is a pine cone.  Bed rest is real toilet paper. 

I’m not saying that the Ford Fiesta, Canadian bacon or  Whole Foods’ pizza isn’t good.  I am just saying I would prefer an NSX, real bacon and/or traditional pizza (I would love them all together).  Couch rest, in most cases, will suffice, but bed rest is prefered.  Tom Cruise, Ted Kennedy and Michael Bay are metaphors of bad couch rest. 

See, in most cases, bed rest is best!


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